Young Girls and Mentorship Challenges In the North West Region
Mali Martha Noel, is a peace equality, and digital rights advocate passionate about peace, education, and development communication. Which she practices on her online blog She Peace diary.
She is addressing a problem faced by most adolescent girls and young women in Bamenda.
All she wanted Was a mentor to guide her get the best of a career. Unfortunately, she found herself with an unintended pregnancy. Today, I will like to address the problem of choosing the wrong mentor, which most adolescent girls and young women face in Bamenda. The dilemma of having a mentor. Having a mentor is something that is amazing. But at the end of the day, you can either help you to grow or mare you?
Should we talk about the mistakes?
Should we talk about the excitement?
Should we talk about the best practices? Let’s talk about the mistakes.
You attend a workshop. And because somebody delivers an amazing speech, You believe that oh, this person is a role model. And I’ll like him or her to be my mentor.
Because you see somebody having amazing followers on social media. The person is traveling from one country to another. The person is getting awards here and there, you think that this person can be your mentor.
Because the person has an organization. And is carrying an amazing projects in the community. You feel this person is worth being your mentor. How well do you know them? How well do you try to investigate if these persons are good leadersor if this people are interested to lead you, to help you grow. There are also some things that, some mistakes that young girls make When they have mentors.
They will go to the extreme just a few valuable. Maybe in the eyes of their friends or maybe on social media for everybody to know that this is my mentor. They will want to do everything. You hear a younger, say:
"I am going to my mentors house; I want to help him to cook.”
“I am at my mentor's place; I want to help him wash dresses.”
What is the problem?
What is the risk?
At the end of the deal, you hear stories like I am pregnant for my mentor, my mentor dubbed me, and the story goes on and on. It is a pertinent problem.
If we do not tell our stories, the younger generation, the younger person's coming behind us, they will not know, and they will keep on making this mistake. The excitement of having a mentor, you can blossom in your career without necessarily having a mentor. You can blossom in your career.
When you do the right things with the right mentor, once you start seeing some red flags with someone who is guiding you who says they want to guide you they want to lead you because that's what mentorship is all about. Somebody who knows your weaknesses. Somebody who understands your strengths somebody who is helping you to grow not somebody who's going to take control over your life. And then lead you to a pit instead of helping you grow. If you have somebody who has been coaching, you or being a mentor to you and that person is making advances at you and the person keeps on extorting money from you? Then you should think twice.
Before even having a mentor, you should be able to do your findings. Like asking, what if before you have a mentor, why don't you do your findings about this person? Because there are a lot of people who have potentials, they're a person who have a lot of skills, they are traveling from one country to another.
They have great, um, awards here and there, they have great followers on social media, but they are not necessarily the kind of people who can lead you. Some will even have all of these, but they are not actually willing to lead you. Don't be forcing yourself on someone? Not everybody can be your mentor.
Watch your steps, guide your steps. In order not to fall into a pit. So, what am I saying, is it is possible that you try to find out about this person that you're going towards for mentorship? Is it possible that you go online, and you try to search about what the person has been doing?
Is it possible that you ask other persons Who have been around this person to find out how well can they be of help to you, how well can they mentor you?
And if at the end of the day, you do not have somebody who can be the best mentor to you, Work it out yourself.
A lot of young girls who find themselves in big “delimas” today, is because they were forcing themselves, or they considered their mentors as their gods this is because they were lazy.
There are a lot of things that you can learn on your own. Do your research. Study hard. Do not always want to take things from people without, like you always try to do the fishing yourself or ask people to teach you how to fish because once you hang around people who just, Who you want that, they should like fish for you and they give you to eat that is when they take advantage of you.
So, can we think about doing more research? Can we think about being much more resourceful to ourselves and not just have the excitement of having a mentor? This is going to help you to grow and it's going to help the other girl around you who is looking up to you as well.
Watch your steps. And stay wise. Having a mental can make you or mare you.
Mali Martha Noel
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